The Two Faces of Fear

The Two Faces of Fear

What are you most afraid of?

Fear of failure drives more people's big choices everyday than any other emotion we know. You may not even notice how much your day to-day actions are driven by this. If you’re like many people, it’s fear of failure that gets in your way and causes you not to act.

• You wonder whether you’re going to be good enough.
• You wonder whether people will like you
• You wonder whether all the time you’re putting in is for nothing just like your friends and family whisper about when you aren’t in the room

Or maybe you are in the room and it really isn’t all that much of a whisper….

Fear of success?!

My own fear of failure comes out in a way that most people would never anticipate. It rears its ugly head and looks just like fear of success … but the truth is, it’s fear of failure just the same.

How can that be?

How can you be successful and still have your life ruled by a fear of failure?

Well, let me try and explain how it’s been for me. You’ll either be able to see this in yourself or it will at least give you a better feel for how fear holds you back no matter what it is that scares you.

'Success' ain't always successful

If you’ve read ‘My Story’, you already know that I am a fairly ‘smart’ person if you go by my academic records. Truth be told, I really never put any special effort into any of it.

I didn’t see the point.

I glided right on through, full college scholarship and all.

Now, I have to say that the public school system really never raised the bar for me, but that is not a good reason for never having tried harder on my own. What kept me from trying harder and getting every last drop of goodness that I could out of it was really fear of success. See, the level I worked at was not really ‘successful’ at all…. at least not for me. It was just business as usual.

So how is a fear of success actually a fear of failure in disguise?

Fear is fear

Well think about it, what happens when the bar is raised and you meet a certain goal or performance level? People expect that from you. Suddenly, the pressure’s on to work at that higher level. And you can’t really ever go back. At least that’s what I used to think.

I’ve grown-up some since my school days.

Now I recognize that you have to get out there and ‘do something even if it’s wrong’ to make progress in whatever it is you’re trying to get done. I’m a lot easier on myself and am happy when I’ve done my best ‘right here right now’ than I ever used to be.

Here comes that fearful feelin'

But this morning, that old fear of success/failure reared its ugly head again.

I’m working with a free mentoring program (if you’ve read any of my other articles, this is not news to you). This program basically takes the ‘sell’ out of the network marketing business and puts relationships between people back into the place of importance that it should be.

All well and good. Fabulous in fact.

Learning to mentor people without any concern for ‘what’s in it for me’ is the best thing I’ve done for my NWM business ever. Not to mention how just plain good it feels to be of service to others first.

My fear hiccup... is this silly or what?!

Ready for the fear hiccup I’ve just run into?

The leads system that is connected with the free mentoring, works. It works almost too well for my taste. Or at least for my ‘fear’s taste’.

What I’m most afraid of is getting too many leads!

And here’s the kind of crazy stuff that’s going through my head:

• How will I be able to handle so many leads?
• What if I don’t learn how to mentor people well enough? Or quickly enough?
• The responsibility of ‘knowing’ people is huge, what if I fail someone?
• What if, in spite of my best efforts, some people still don’t ‘make it’?
• What if my business gets so big that I get spread too thin and can’t keep the relationships going that I start?

Phew … I sure do put a lot of pressure on myself.
Just writing this is giving me a headache.

What I need to learn

What I really need to learn in my heart of hearts is something that one of my mentors says. 'You are not responsible for other people's success'.

In fact, I can pretty well imagine his response to each of these things:

• Okay, maybe not the first one ..lol (that must be the source of my headache)
  
• You can and you will be a great mentor. Just keep on plugging in to the team and you will grow.
  
• Be a friend, be a mentor with service as your goal and you will not fail anyone, not even yourself.
  
• You are not responsible for other people’s choices. They have to want success, you can not want it for them.
  
• No one gets big in this business alone. It takes a team of people. Don’t try to be all things to all people. Leverage the team’s resources and learn to share the responsibility. You’ll do fine.

Guess I'd better get on the call today and ask about 'what to do with too many leads'. I'll let you know how that turns out.

To your success!
Andrea

You can read my success story HERE